Oxford

Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words:

a. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
b. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
c. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
d. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
e. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
f. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
g. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
h. Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
i. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
j. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
k. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
l. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
m. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
n. Father: A banker provided by nature.
o. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
p. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Source: A friend